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Nine.com Names ‘Gambler of the Week’

Nine.com’s notorious Gambler of the Week award has been bestowed upon Thomas Burns. Nine.com, a property of Leisure and Gaming, has once again chosen a real gambler who has taken an unusual, heroic or foolish risk during the previous week.

“I think Thomas Burns is worthy of receiving our Gambler of the Week award. Mr. Burns made an obscene gesture at a construction worker in Pittsburgh. The construction worker reported him to the local authorities, and he was later cited for disorderly conduct. We think that this is a newsworthy situation, but we’ll let the public decide what kind of ‘gambler’ he really is,” says Maria Marmo, of Nine.com’s Media Relations.

“Burns said he became frustrated with a traffic delay and made the gesture at a construction worker. If I had a citation for every time I made an obscene gesture … well, let’s just say I’d be on the news myself.” Mrs. Marmo added, “Fortunately for Mr. Burns, Pennsylvania courts have ruled that the gesture doesn’t automatically constitute disorderly conduct, because it is not ‘obscene’ as defined by the law, unless it is used in a clearly sexual context, which makes Mr. Burns a gutsy fellow for flicking the finger.”

“I loved this story from the start,” says Mrs. Marmo. “Getting cited for an obscene hand gesture makes you think twice. I just had to name Mr. Burns our gambler of the week for his ‘gutsy gesture.’ Mrs. Marmo concludes, “As this week’s Gambler of the Week, Mr. Burns will receive Nine.com merchandise and gift certificates for use on Nine.com.”